Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Dicks are not precious.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
