I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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