We're facebook friends in real life
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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