High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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