I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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