I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
