Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
