but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Randomize
