dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
