wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
