i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
