he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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