I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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