I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
We're too hungover to prance.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize