fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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