I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
