I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
