Who did Billy Mays play for?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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