I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
