He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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