oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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