On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
FUCK WHALES
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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