this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
