dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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