No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
