Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize