So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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