Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
