My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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