Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
