i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
The feeling are messing with the penis
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
