covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
ok first of all what the fuck
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize