Buhtt sex?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize
