Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
