k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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