just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
