yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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