Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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