i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
