Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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