Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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