I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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