some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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