I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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