I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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