while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
