I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
