Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
