Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
