sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
