her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
