How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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