You're my little dorito
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize