I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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