Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize