I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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