The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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