I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
