i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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