Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
