I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Girls should come with a carfax report
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
