I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Randomize
