I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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