My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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