that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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