I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Your tits are I can't wait for
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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