This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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