I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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