how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Randomize
