You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
