i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
farters have to be the big spoon...
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
