I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
