I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize