that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I smell stomach acid.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
