I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
