ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
