The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
