i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
