i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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