Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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