Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
